Queen's Blade: Chronicles of the Alestorm
by Phen0m20
Summary: In a matron-commanded world stifled by conflict, one pirate captain believed to have been long since dead rises from the ashes to reclaim what is hers. The infamous series exposing scantily clad vixens to shirt-shredding combat joins forces with a universe inspired by hard rock and heavy-metal to bring you this epic!
1. Prologue

**A/N:**

The idea for this crossover has been spiraling around in my head for what seems ages. I mean, melding together a series focused around hot chicks battling it out and a world inspired by hard rock and heavy metal seems like a match made in Heaven, does it not? What held me back, however, was my indecisiveness of which Queen's Blade character I should choose to be the main protagonist. That all changed when I recently watched the Rebellion season of Queen's Blade, and despite its shortcomings (oh the many…MANY shortcomings…) I finally found the one girl I was looking for; Captain Liliana. Needless to say she's become my favorite character in QB, and I was more than a little bummed out when I saw how little screen time she had in the anime. (had to look up her backstory online cuz the anime did such a shitty job fleshing out her character -_-)

…BUT ANYHOO, having recently become a huge fan of the pirate-metal band 'Alestorm', in addition the lack of Liliana fics out there (seriously, her starfish nips need moar luv! :P), I knew I had a solid crossover idea oozing with originality.

For those unfamiliar with Brutal Legend, you might find yourselves scratching your scalp at some of this, but I'll try to keep things fairly straight forward. Still, I highly recommend you play the game simply because of how kick-ass it is.

* * *

**Prologue**

The hull of her ship groaned as the kraken's many tendrils coiled to suction. Bit by bit the wooden framework crumbled around her; the viscous sea flooding the now ruined cabin as it was slowly dragged into the shrouded black abyss.

This was the end for Liliana. Windows and opportunities for escape were ever present throughout the whole ordeal, but the proud captain would not abandon her plunder. Bound by the aesthetics of her esteemed grandmother Artemis, she refused to abandon ship, preferring honor over her own life. Not even the refined aesthetics she was raised to uphold could save this once feared and untouchable pirate captain. Her crew was dead, her arm was broken, scabbard shattered. All that was left were the bloodied feathers of her now devoured parrot and the priceless relics of her latest plunder- ironically the largest and most successful yet. Her priceless bountiful booty, doomed to be lost at sea for the rest of time…

...along with her treasure.

**Pirate Aestheitcs: Aesthetic #2:**_ A pirate will keep her honor and her promises, but won't go overboard._

Such a cruel fate…but Liliana would have it no other way. Her grandmother would be proud.

As Captain Liliana lay there, defeated, she angled her head to the towering mound of riches before her. The many sparkling trinkets made her loins moisten. She used her one functional arm to drag herself to her final plunder; her life's work. Clutching at her arm she leaned back into it as more brine solution crept in through the floorboard's many splintering cracks. Her sopping wet bright pink strands cascaded down from her torn pirate headpiece, flowing into the many crinkling gold doubloons and priceless jewels rifled beneath her frame. She sank into the coins with a shivering sigh.

Liliana's ample chest expanded as she took some deep breaths. In spite of the immense pain, her lips pulled back into a soft smile. This would be a good death. She had not been captured, nor was she to be executed by the land lovers she had preyed on. No, she was to meet her end out at sea, and be put to rest out at sea. No pirate could ask for more.

As the deluge opposite the cabin door began to swell inward, she dug her hand into the gold pile and yanked out a bottle of rum. Though she couldn't hold her liquor, no time was more appropriate for a toast. She sank her teeth into the spongy cap and pulled away, spitting it out. Rearing her head back, she took a swig; the door burst in with a loud, whooshing bang. The door rushed inward, soaring at the Pirate Captain's body. Slamming into her head, the door shattered the bottle, sandwiching her body into the riches she lay on. The cabin was instantly submerged.

Her broken arm twitched a few times before the activity finally deadened. The feared Pirate Captain Liliana, was no more.

Red wisps of her vital fluid clouded the salt water, spiraling and expanding outward. Gravity influenced it to seep through the treasure. Inside the many tons of gold, a relic sat. This relic was…strange. It was not made of gold, but metal. A very…heavy metal. Likely iron. It had similarities of a boar and mammoth, but was more savage looking; angry. As the fallen pirate captain's blood swept across its fangs, a fiery glow burned in its eye-sockets…

**XXXXXX**

A wreath of zephyrs miles above the ship's crunched wreckage began to part, the skies darkened to red. A swirling mass of fiery lightning ripped through the firmament; a roar unmatched even by the most fearsome of beasts exploded out from the stratosphere. It was as if the gates of hell had opened…

Clumps of molten iron rained down from the heavens.

A croaking howl erupted from the kraken, its marshmallowy flesh incinerating and vaporizing from the volcanic hail. The frightened sea-monster loosened its tentacles from the now smoldering shipwreck and retreated from its prey, kicking off back into the shadowy abyss.

With the attack finally over, Liliana's ship sank to its watery grave.

Her limp body, however, began to glow and floated skyward.

A shell of ivory light glistened from her torso's circumference, intensifying in brilliance as she ascended higher and higher. The molten embers which should have reduced her flesh to a muddy pulp simply slid away as water would have.

**"_OZZZZZZBOOOOOOORN!"_**

The sky quaked as the word echoed, trembling the very earth which lay beneath it.

It was as if God itself had spoken.

A colossal entity encased in molten iron descended from the ruined sky and a thundering roar once again shook the earth. Like an angry comet, the fiery beast sailed towards the chosen one.

Liliana was but a speck before the immensity of Deistic fire.

The very sea itself split to separate waves upon contact of the two entities. Light which rivaled even the cosmic beams of the sun exploded from the center.

The blinding light cleared, as did the molten embers eating away at the sky.

Liliana and the fire beast had vanished…

* * *

**A/N:**

The end of this opener went through a lot of revisions, but I believe this will suffice for what I have in store later on.

Con-crit is always appreciated, so feel free to leave your thoughts in a review or PM me for some in-depth discussion. I enjoy discussing my works with my readers, so don't be shy.

An update for this fanfic (as well as my others) will be in production once I get my new chromebook in April, so stay tuned.


	2. Ozborn

**A/N:**

Well after a few months of working my creativity through writer's block, I finally have the first REAL chapter of this story written. I would like to thank Omega Overlord for his assistance as well as providing the male OC of the evening. I'm sure you will all grow to embrace his epicness.

In any case, I have a decent idea of where I'm taking this story, but could still use reader input on what they would like to see. So if any of you guys want to pitch some ideas to me, leave a review and I'll be sure to take it into account.

Hope you all enjoy. :)

Oh, and in this fic, Liliana's starfish nipples are real. Why? Because why the fuck not?! :D

* * *

**Ozborn **

10 Years later…

A choir of clicking heels ascended over marble steps as the chapel doors pulled inward and the inquisitor's legion lead their captive to her yet to be decided fate.

Each legionnaire bore v-shaped chest plates which descended from their shoulders and met below the navel before curving inward through their slender legs. Brown leather straps secured gold hilted silver swords to their bare backs and sunshine-glaring buttocks.

Midway up the steps, the small army spread formation; the accused led to the front line by two upper ranked legionnaires sporting black and white warpaint which arced down through their eyes and cheeks. In one hand they held gold hilted silver tipped spears, while their free appendages curved around and hoisted up the captive's chained and crossed arms which were secured behind her back.

At first glance the convicted looked like an innocent cosplayer, and a cute one to boot. A large crimson bow and pink frills decorated the pirate hat which nested upon her long, silky pink strands. Her hair swept past a jeweled white choker, cascading down over a frilly black overcoat and draping beside her breasts like curtains. Just above the navel, a crimson shirt encircled her exposed cleavage, and beneath it a dangerously short black skirt snapped to her waist via brown belt featuring a ship's steering wheel as the buckle. Heeled thigh-high black boots with an inner lining of pink wool sprouting from within cushioned her feet and calves.

If anything, the girl was the pinnacle of feminine; her entire physique channeled outward from gorgeous smooth ivory flesh and rich curves embraced her firm muscles. Her legs were long, though her short skirt gave the impression that they were longer, her waist was tight and hourglass shaped, and her breasts were more than just well-endowed. She bounced with every step she took.

But don't fool yourself.

Although Liliana dressed like a hooker, such skimpy attire was the norm for all feminine denizens of Gynos and as such none could be fooled. For many years, this feared pirate captain laid waste to the continent's coastal waters and had never been captured by the navy...until today.

A beige carpet unfurled between many rows of empty booths and into the distance.

"Halt!"

The legionnaires clomped their last advancing steps and froze to straight postures.

The dwarven boots which shielded the woman's gartered thighs clomped with her advancing strut. Ivory light rinsed over her silky sapphire cloak and youthful visage. Upon her left cheek and diagonal her glossy peach lips, a beauty spot took residence. Columns of sunlight gleaming through stained glass orbited the silhouette of a massive cross identical to the one encircling her neck and cast it's distorted shadow upon the beige carpet below.

She stepped into it and reached a leather shrouded hand for the holy instrument which burdened her back. She gripped tight at the neck's center and twirled it out from behind her frame. The marble bass was outlined with a golden trim. Cascading from it's falcon-shaped headstock and angelwing tuning knobs, a quartet of chrome cords stretched over it's smooth bridge and frets, anchoring themselves to the tail end of the crucifix-shaped body. Welded upon two of the three points crisscrossing from the body were razor sharp crescent blades which curved and encircled 2/3rds of the instrument's circumference, while the final point elongated and sharpened to spiky lance which inflated just before the tip to house a cross at the center.

The woman swung the enchanted bass guitar before her line of sight, bracelets jingling from the swift movement, and aimed at the accused.

"You there, prisoner! Step forward!"

Winks of violet embers crinkled inside her sapphire gaze. Her eyes narrowed as the two spear toters led the once feared pirate captain before her divine judgement.

"On your knees, heathen!" her voice echoed.

The two legionnaires shove Liliana to her knees. The nun lowered the crescent edge of her bass guitar beneath the captain's chin and patted it upwards. Their gazes met.

"Pirate Captain Liliana, you have been held accountable of high treason. The list of crimes include the likes of terrorism, mass thievery, and affiliation with the swamp witch. Today, in this construct of divine worship, you bring your case before the altar of the almighty God, Ormagoden. How to you plea?"

No words rolled from Liliana's tongue. She chose a glare of malcontent over answering to her crimes.

"Very well then, I take your silence as a submission to God's will. I find you...guilty and sentence you to death by holy fire!"

"Inquisitor Sigui!" the legionnaire flanking the right of Liliana spoke up. "Pardon my interruption, but the pirate captain is said to be an undead thrall controlled by the swamp witch. If you kill her, would the swamp witch not simply just revive her once more to wreak havoc? My suggestion would to keep her imprisoned to avoid such disaster."

She glared at the questioning soldier. "Fear not, young knight, for the holy flames which bless the divine instrument that is Bethel's Siphon will burn through that she-devil's hold on her heart and purge the accused to a realm where all she will feel is pain and suffering for all eternity. Now, stand aside."

The two legionnaires nodded, stepped aside, and backed away.

Lady Sigui, having decided her final judgement, lowered Bethel's Siphon from the pirate's chin and brought the neck to her body. A thumb and index finger plucked a pick from her cleavage. A softness melted over Sigui's expression as she embraced the stock with her neck and cheek.

Without warning, the inquisitor launched her right leg high into the air.

Her thin white undergarments began to glow a bright teal as she maintained an unfathomably disciplined still balance for several seconds. The legionnaires shielded their eyes from the heavenly beacon and Liliana clamped hers shut as she was unable to use her arms.

"Holy note: Divine Pulse…"

The inquisitor then brought her leg down with a mighty force, strumming down on the moment of impact. Violet flames flew from Sigui's fingertips and spiraled along the strings from the strum's origin, spreading out to engulf the circumference of the crescent bladed body. A shockwave sent ripples through the cathedral. The legionnaires were blown back and crumbled to their hands and knees while it sent Liliana flying back onto her posterior.

"My body feels so hot…" One of the legionnaires in the back of the cathedral said as she tried pulling herself back up, only to crumble back to her face and curve her fingers to her nether lips.

"Ugh! I can't help it! Can't hold back anymore!" Cried another, as a naughty redness swelled over her visage.

"Yes, let the love of God consume you." Sigui stated amongst the choir of moaning women. "Give yourself unto him so that you shall all one day be saved!"

"Oh yes!"

"Oh God, aahhhhh!"

Fighting an expression which melted with more and more pleasure by the second, Liliana looked back at the ones who had defeated her and brought her to this place. Brave valiant warriors submitting to their pulsing loins after one bass note. Was this the power of God?

"Look at them, Liliana." Sigui said as she stared on. "They are expressing pleasure beyond any of their wildest dreams, giving themselves unto the almighty without question. This is their reward. It is said that the heartbeat of God is so great, that it makes even the most disciplined of women lose control of themselves. With every strum, Bethel's Siphon brings that heartbeat to our realm, for you see, Bethel's Siphon IS the heart of God!"

Liliana continued to gasp as the divine pulse sent waves of pleasure through her entire nervous system. She couldn't take it much longer, the binds she had were torture.

The Inquisitor leaned in and pinched the captain's chin with her thumb and index finger, drawing her in closer. "I can see the lust in your eyes, Liliana, how you wish to release love inside you, how you want to shout the almighty's name as you dig in deeper!"

This however, did not keep a sly smirk from swiping across Liliana's bubblegum-pink lips.

"And why are you now smirking?" the inquisitor asked. "Do you dare challenge God's will? Do you wish to challenge me?"

Liliana chucked and finally spoke for the first time since arriving. "I think I'll pass…"

"Hmph, so you are a coward after all then. Typical of a lowly pirate."

"No, you misunderstand. You see, I couldn't harm you even if I wanted to." Liliana said in a swashbuckling tone. She staggered to her feet as her legs quivered at the heat pounding in her loins. "...it is a pirate's oath to never harm the elderly."

Sigui scowled and shoved her away.

"Unf!"

"Ugh! How dare you! For a moment I contemplated mercy, but such a luxury of release is unfitting of a heathen such as yourself!" With a gravity-defying swing, Sigui perched Bethel's Siphon high over her head, the flames intensifying as her domineering voice rang out louder. "Your carnal desires shant be silenced, for on this moment, I strike you down in the name of the almighty!"

Liliana closed her eyes as gravity assisted the Inquisitor's arms in bringing the holy instrument downward. A moment passed, and she hadn't felt the slightest inkling of pain let alone the boiling of her ivory flesh in exposure to the holy flames.

She opened her eyes and saw the holy instrument seemingly frozen in time, a hair's length before her neck. The last of it's flames evaporated into the air.

"_What is this? Some kind of joke?"_ she thought.

The heat melting her nether regions also slowly began to disappear, however, the legionnaires were still stricken by the spell. Liliana turned focus back to her would be executioner. She had dropped to one knee, grasping at her heart as she gasped for air.

"H-how?..." she choked. "What sorcery is this?"

The holy instrument slipped from her grip and landed with a hammering FWUMP. Gravity dragged Sigui down to her final knee. She arced over onto her forearms, bowing to the heathen she'd set out to destroy.

"_Has God forsaken my judgement? How could my attack have been thwarted?...Unless she's-NO! Impossible!..." _Sigui looked at Liliana wide eyed. The pirate captain looked more confused than even she did, but the holy light which began to swell over her was all the proof she needed. "_...the one the prophecy foretold...the Ozborn!"_

**XXXXX**

Sigui led Liliana away from the distracted legionnaires and down one of the Cathedral's many hallways. Liliana inquired the inquisitor many times as to why she had spared her, but was met with silence each time. After a few minutes of walking, Sigui stopped before a wall and pressed in a hidden pressure plate.

A section of the wall retracted inward and light streamed down the chamber's hidden stairwell. The fact that light didn't penetrate into the corridor much beyond a few yards gave the impression it spiraled downward as opposed to simply going at a slope. Their voices and footsteps echoed as they proceeded down the coiling steps.

"Where are you taking me?" Liliana inquired as Sigui began to lead the captain away from the light and into the expanding darkness.

Sigui hoisted a torch up from the wall and dragged it across the strings of her holy bass, igniting it. She finally spoke.

"These stairs lead down to the catacombs of the Cathedral." She explained. "It's where we store the dead and perform post-mortem exorcisms. However, there is one more purpose this place serves."

At the bottom of the stairwell, a long tunneling hallway coated in cobwebs stretched out before them. Many large slots had been carved deep into the walls and stacked upon each other. Some stored busted old caskets and dust-coated urns while others were simply empty.

"And I assume this other purpose has something to do with me?" she concluded. "One moment you're ready to behead me and the next you're bowing at my feet. Why the sudden change in attitude?"

"Don't get too comfortable with my formalities. For all I know the Swamp Witch cast a spell over you to bring me to my knees. There is only one way to make sure that it's a genuine sign from the almighty." she bowed her head. "If my assumptions are correct, and you are in fact the Ozborn, I will have no choice but to serve you."

"The Ozborn?" Liliana paraphrased.

"A direct descendant of the Guardian of Metal. Long ago when he still graced our holy land, he married the first Queen of Gynos in what has become known as The Black Sabbath. The ceremony was looked over by the presence of the almighty Ormagoden himself, and with his blessing gave rise to a new hierarchy. Every female born under his lineage was destined to become Heavy Metal Queen of the Continent. However, all of the children they had conceived were lowly males. Without a female to take the throne after the queen had died, the concept of the Queen's Blade tournament ultimately decided on. However, if the Ozborn one day showed herself to the world, her status would overtake that of the current queen, and she would be forced to step down in favor of the chosen one."

"Wow, so that means I'm royalty! I'm destined to be the ruler of all of Gynos?!"

Liliana took the information in stride. If what the inquisitor said was true, she would no longer be need to stay in hiding. As ruler, she would bring forth a new era of piracy and no one would dare defy her again!

"Don't get excited just yet. There is still one thing you must do to prove yourself. If it's shown to be a ploy of the Swamp Witch, I will strike you down, captain."

"You've still to tell me what I must do to prove my lineage, Inquisitor."

Clinks of metal against stone echoed from the left of the tunnel. Sigui extended her arm to keep Liliana from walking ahead of her. "Do you hear that?"

Groans of undead hordes and heavy clashes of steel quickly inflated in pitch. Sigui and Liliana halted their advancement and not a second later, a tower of a man burst through the rusty fence on their left shield first, dragging with it at least 5 living corpses and reanimated skeletons and slamming their remains to the wall on the opposite side. More of the undead swarmed from where he exploded out from and leapt at the rocky armor which sheltered his body. He shook them off like fleas and grasped for the claymore on his back, veering it down and tearing through them as if they were nothing. Following a deep breath, he crushed one of the skulls beneath his boot as if it were a mere pest.

"Jacob!" Sigui shouted. "What are you doing down here?!"

"Janitorial duty." He crudely replied in a grave, dry voice.

"And who might this scurvy dog be?" Liliana asked.

"He's my subordinate." she answered. Sigui turned attention back to him. "You know not to come down here unless there is to be an exorcism!" Sigui yelled.

"There was an exorcism and it didn't go very well in case you haven't noticed." he said, cracking his neck. Jacob removed his helmet and tucked it beneath his shoulder. He shook his head to swipe away the plentiful dark strands which hung before his shrouded grey eyes and bushy brows. "The deceased apparently had a naughty little fascination with witchcraft and cast an undead possession spell on herself before she died. From what the family told me, the old woman didn't want to share her fortune with anyone after she passed and would ensure none of them would have it."

"Is the family safe?" Sigui asked following a sigh.

"Yeah, I held back the undead long enough for them and the other inquisitor to escape without much issue. The spell she had over the dead wasn't nearly as strong as what the swamp witch is capable of. If it were, I doubt any of us would be alive…greedy old crone was a rookie in comparison."

"Fortune, you say…" Liliana thought out loud, smirking and rubbing her chin.

The inquisitor got in her face pointed a finger at her. "Don't you get any ideas!"

Jacob took note of his superior's companion. "Hey, I know you." he said. "You're that pirate captain everyone's been talking about. Weren't you supposed to be executed or something?"

Rearing her head back, she boasted a hearty laugh. "You can't kill what's already dead."

Jacob scraped some of the fractured skull from his boot. "I beg to differ. Oh, and you're not fooling anybody with that pirate accent. I understand wanting to stay in character whilst donning the outfit, but you overplay it to the point where it's clearly more phony than fool's gold."

Liliana turned her nose at him with a huff. "Don't blame me, blame my English voice actor. Media Blasters isn't exactly known for quality voice acting, so either switch to sub or shut your mouth, landlover."

"Point taken."

Inquisitor Sigui cleared her throat. "Divine intervention has prevented me from doing away Liliana." she explained. "Join us, Jacob. Witnessing the test she participates in first hand will be a learning experience for you."

Liliana raised an eyebrow. "A test you have still yet to explain, by the way..."

Jacob scoffed before Sigui could vocalize a reply. "Heh, I bet it has something to do with grinding your hips against a pole half naked."

Liliana didn't look surprised in the slightest at him jumping to that conclusion, but Sigui was more than peeved by the statement.

"Jacob, keep your crude remarks to yourself!"

"Relax, it was just a joke. You need to take yourself less seriously."

"You need to take yourself MORE seriously!"

"I was right in my assumption though, correct?"

"That's besides the point!"

Liliana spoke up. "So I do need to dance on a pole?"

Sigui exhaled an annoyed sigh. "In layman's terms yes, but it's much more complicated than Jacob makes it out to be."

Liliana nodded and smirked.

"And what might you be smiling about now?" Sigui asked.

"You'll see soon enough… However I'm going to need you to undo my restraints."

"Can I, Lady Sigui?" Jacob inquired.

She nodded. "I'll allow it."

Jacob nodded then addressed Liliana. She turned around and spread her hands as far apart as she could.

Jacob grasped his claymore and slammed it down. Her binds clattered to the ground.

She rubbed her wrists and cracked her knuckles. It felt good to finally be free once again. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it. Now follow us, the place isn't to far from here..."

**XXXXX**

Their steps halt at the end of the passageway. Liliana shuffled her hands to her hips while Sigui and Jacob walked over to a casket housed in one of the walls. With his aid, Sigui slides the top off and beneath the skeletal remains inside was a lever.

The Inquisitor yanked it and the wall before them began descending into the ground. A spectrum of multicolored beams shadowed upon the three more and more as it dragged downward. Liliana shielded her eyes briefly, but continued forward as Sigui prompted her to.

The three stepped in and meandered past a long saloon. Crowds of transparent apparitions clustered the grounds which they roamed. The air suffocated in ignited incense and trace hints of burning tobacco. The smell was pleasant, but Lili's lungs begged to differ. Her chest bounced as the whiffs forced a hacking fit from her lungs.

At the end of the bar and to the left was where the real attraction was, however. Spectral spectators gathered about a long, wide crucifix shaped stage which erected outward from a frilly purple curtain and hanging crimson beads. Four stiff brass shafts stretched past hanging balconies and shimmied to the ceiling from the crisscrossing apex; three on each end, and one in the middle.

Wolf whistles encouraged the two heavenly beings as they swung their curvy bodies up, down, and around as Ozzy Osbourne's "I Don't Wanna Stop" blasted away. From the balconies, cloaked nuns angled a half dozen ivory spotlights at their exposed angelic flesh, the heat sticking to their bodies like adhesive.

One red-headed angel hung upside down. She released her wingspan and undid her top much to the delight of many.

The blonde played it safe; simply grasping the pole and sliding downward until her rear came within inches of the polished wood. The cheers escalated as her gartered thighs spread open.

Their sweaty orbs heaved in and out with every blushing breath enforced by the mixture of nip-stiffening excitement and moisture-squeezing heat.

One of the ghostly onlookers collapsed backwards following a nosebleed and ascended to heaven, having finally found happiness.

"A stripclub at the bottom of the cathedral?" Liliana thought out loud.

Sigui nodded. "This den of holiness would look to the uninitiated to be a feast of crass debauchery, but to the faithful it was a thing of beauty and repose for the staunch servants of the divine."

The captain raised a pink brow. "Huh?..."

"In other words this is where the uneased spirits go to drown out their sorrows." Jacob explained further. "It's mainly used to entertain the deceased who've yet to accept passage to the afterlife. Other than the nuns and pastors, rarely anyone among the living knows of it's existence."

"I see. So this is where I'll be performing, then?"

The dancers bowed and blew kisses to the crowd after their segment finished and strut their way back to the dressing room.

"Sinners and saints, put your spectral hands together for our next act," The curtains parted and a blue haired angel in high heels struts outward. "the lovely Nanael!"

After a teaseful wave and suggestive wink to the spectators, she grasps the pole and twirls around on it much to everyone's appreciation.

A tune more than fitting the performer then soothed the overly excited onlookers. Jacob submitted to the ASMR and bobbed his head to the classic as the heavenly being ground her divine loins into the long hard stiff shaft. "Knockin' on Heaven's Door...I love this song…"

Sigui shoved him. "Hey, this is no time for mindless self indulgence. She's not here for you, but for the departed."

"That's what you think..." he said under his voice.

Liliana looked on at the live peepshow, unimpressed with Nanael's showing. "Her form is clumsy...needs work… Could it be that the underdeveloped wing is keeping her off balance?"

"What was that?" Jacob inquired. "It's kinda loud in here. Can you speak up?"

"Oh, um, it was nothing."

Sigui cut between them and grabbed both of their shoulders. "We should go to the back for further discussion. It's much quieter there. Also Liliana, me and you are going to be on shortly after Nanael is finished with her dance."

"We are?"

**XXXXX**

The three made their way back to the changing room. The majority of dancers occupying it were nuns. The angel's shifts had all but ended save for a few who serviced the frisky spirits in the VIP section. Thankfully Liliana hadn't needed to change her current getup as the outfit was stripperific fetish fuel as is, for both saints AND sinners alike.

Jacob was allowed to tag along into the dressing room as he was Sigui's subordinate. Plus it wasn't like the girls had any issue with men seeing them completely exposed...during or outside of their jobs, though that could be said for every female on the continent. Sigui was always under the impression that he never ventured behind the curtain before now, but every so often he would get a lapdance behind her back from one of the angels. Nanael especially liked servicing him, though that could be said for all men she serviced. Always trying to get into mens pants that one...he could only wonder what that sticky white substance was inside that vial fastened to her waist REALLY was...

Some blood dribbled from Jacob's left nostril as Liliana removed her shirt. "Well, you came prepared I see. Are those real?"

She looked down at her breasts, noting the starfish nipples. "Why yes, believe it or not. Rare birth defect. My crew used to adore them. Before they were resurrected as undead thralls, I would provide moral support for them after a successful raid by doing a strip tease in my cabin. Nothing makes men more loyal than a woman who gives herself unto their desires."

He gulped as her breasts bounced. "No wonder they fought to the bitter end for you then." he said. "Did you ever..um…"

"Sleep with any of them when they were alive? Of course not. I may engage in some exhibition from time to time, but I don't just walk anyone's plank. Waxing and unloading their cannons in their quarters was all they needed to stay in line. None of them would have dared to defile the great captain Liliana!"

"What would have happened if they did?"

"I would have severed their legs and threw their amputated limbs overboard. I had a plentiful stash of peglegs for just such an occasion if one were so bold."

"I can only imagine the crazy shit you could do with peglegs…"

Sigui popped him on the head with her fist. "Mind your manners, lustful one."

"Thank you, thank you very much! I love you all!" Nanael said gleefully as she waved goodbye to the crowd and floated backstage. She jumped for joy as she squeed. "I had to have exorcised at least seven horny spirits that time! That sets a new personal record!"

She then took note of her company. "Inquisitor Siggy! Jacob! So nice to see you two again!"

She glides into them with a glomp. Sigui pats her on the back, and Jacob cops a brief feel while his superior's eyes are closed.

Nanael whispers to him. "Naughty boy…"

She pops her head out from the embrace and quickly retreats backwards upon seeing the pirate captain.

"Agh! P-p-pirate Captain Liliana! Wh-what are you doing here?!"

"Huh?" Liliana exhaled, perplexed. She raised an eyebrow. "Do I know you?"

"How could you forget me, you thief!" She yelled. "You stole my vial of holy milk from the hot springs last year! Me and Leina had to trail you for almost two weeks to get it back!"

**X FLASHBACK X**

Standing upon the bow of her mighty ship and clenching a vial of holy milk, Liliana huffs out a hearty laugh as the vessel rises into the clouds. Trapped beneath a boulder in the background, Nanael flails her arms and screams obscenities while Leina tries to free her.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Oh silly me, I must have forgotten." she said crudely, shrugging shoulders and gesturing her hands.

"Well I sure as hell didn't, JERK!"

Jacob peeked an eye through the curtain as the argument escalated. The crowd outside was rather calm, and given the venue that wasn't good. Most of the spirits with weaker cherries had been popped by now thanks to the last act. Nanael was a tough one to follow; arguably the most popular performer there, though that was mainly due to her being a loose cannon lacking any shame.

"Nanael, this is no time to hold petty grievances." Sigui interrupted. "Do you still have the amulet?"

Nanael made an 'o' face as she recalled the item. She reached into her cleavage and floated towards her as she pulled it out by the chain. "You mean this?"

The inquisitor took it and clenched it to her chest. "Yes! This is the one."

"What do you need it for?"

"The ritual."

She processed her words for a moment, then looked back at Liliana. "Wait, you don't mean-!"

"I do." A mushroom exhaled from Sigui's moist lips as she stepped out through the curtain. "Be out in one minute. Follow my lead, and try to keep up."

An ovation met the Inquisitor as she stepped through the curtain.

Yawning, Liliana closed one eye as she stretched her arms overhead and cracked her knuckles.

She couldn't help but take pity on Sigui. "_Wow, she really has no idea what she's in for, does she?"_

Nanael reclined back as she floated in the air, smuggly pouting as a cheek rested upon her fist. "Do you really expect to out-perform Lady Sigui?"

Liliana stayed silent for a second, but soon turned to flash Nanael a pearly smile and sly wink.

Sigui's lips pulled to a half crescent smile. Placing hands on hips, she takes a long strut down the stage towards the crowd howled and hooted as they got an eyeful of her slender thighs and then some.

She gripped the pole and the lights dimmed. She heaves her upper body downward, the cross encircling her neck jingling out from her jiggling breasts and slapping her thin singlet as it twisted in the reflecting light.

She made a quick 180 around the stage, using momentum to launch her body upward. Her calf and thigh hooked the smooth shaft as she contorted her body upside-down. Her soft palm and well-cut nails messaged her neck and jawline as her legs crossed into the shape on the number 'four'. She blew a kiss and the room suddenly went dark.

Strobe lights flickered and all around and droplets of moisture hissed around stage. Then the next song began; November Rain.

Smoke poofed and steam vented from the curtain as a soft piano began to swoon the on lookers. Hums of violin strings pulled a shadowy silhouette from the parting cloud beyond. Upon roll of the drum, the cloud dissipates and Liliana strolls out. Many whispers seasoned the silence, all complementarities directed to her. She maintained posture, and upon joining Sigui's side, gave her a glare.

"_Try to keep up…"_ she whispered.

In a swift twirl, Liliana glides up the pole with gracious ease. She kicks a leg upward; a sprinkler breaks. Water rains down on her and Sigui. Startled by this, the Inquisitor's grip loosens and she slips off, crashing down on her head. The crowd roars with laughter, some tumbling over grasping their bellies and some even ascended to a higher plane. Jacob and Nanael were even in tears. They hunched over and pointed as they yucked it up.

Hanging upside down, Liliana pulls down an eyelid and sticks out her tongue at her old nemesis.

"Nyaaah!"

Spirals replaced the pupils in Sigui's eyes. She was out of it, but soon shook her head. Sigui was livid with embarrassment.

Liliana tosses her pirate hat to the audience upon sliding down to her feet, her hair now lush with wetness. The record skips, and the lights return to full intensity. Tip-toeing around the pole, a new song begins as she whips her hair sopping moist hair, undoes her soaked top, and twirls it between her thumb and index finger. She flicks it into the spectators as the lyrics kick in.

"Girls! Girls! Girls!..."

With tears in the corners of her eyes, Sigui pulls herself back up as she rubs her aching head. "Damn it, this is no time for fun and games!"

Liliana couldn't hear her, nor could anyone else. Either that or they didn't care to. All that mattered was the entertainment. The Inquisitor looked out at the patrons and then at Liliana.

She was upstaging her! Sigui couldn't let this happen, she would be the laughing stock of the entire capital! Well, at the moment she already was that, but still! She needed to regain some of her credibility! Her pride would never let her live it down if Liliana outperformed her!

She snapped her foot to the ground and a rush of seriousness overwhelmed her expression.

"Two can play at this game!"

She hoisted herself back on the pole and orbited around a few times.

Liliana reared her head back as she maintained her contorted pose and looked at her. "Finally caught your breath, I see?"

"Your cheap headstart will not get the better of me as I am a follower of the almighty's teachings!" She backed her rear to the smooth steel and cartwheeled herself upward.

Liliana's exposed breasts paizuri'd the shaft as she slid down to a squat. Playfully licking the pole, she teased Sigui as she hung upside down. "Be careful not of fall again, oh respectful inquisitor." she said giggling into her fingertips.

"You will not catch me off guard again, you lowly pirate wench!" Sigui let her left leg bend back as she stretched out the right as far as she could. The onlookers gasped at the lewd positioning. "Now do as I do! Holy Pose: Compassion!"

Liliana smirked as the Inquisitors exposed panties began to glow a bright blue. "Challenge accepted."

Following a swift climb, Liliana leapt from her pole to Sigui's contorting into the exact same pose a few feet above her. The crowd popped louder.

"How's this, oh so mighty Inquisitor." she said looking down at her.

_'What are you, a monkey?!'_ Sigui's snarled at her. The vein in her forehead twitched; as did her eyebrow. "Passable…"

Although she said that, Sigui new it was just as well done as her own rendition, if not better.

"Now for something a little more challenging…"

**XXXXX**

As their little dance off commenced, Jacob had been enjoying a little dance of his own in the VIP section just behind the bar. A two way mirror gave them a private view of the whole club. With his stony armor tossed aside, Nanael provided a lapdance on the sofa. The two other angels who were on prior to her performance were there too. They clinged to his arms and caressed his face and ripped abdomen with their fingertips.

"Enjoying the show, Jacob dear?" asked the red-head.

"Which one?" was the sly reply.

The blonde and red-head giggled.

Nanael climbed ontop of his lap and flicked his forehead. "Does that mean you think they're more entertaining than I am?"

"Hey it's not like that. It wouldn't be fair to judge now since this is the first time I've seen those two perform. You're still my favorite, don't worry."

"And what about us, honey" the blonde said.

"Yeah, why can't we be your favorites?" the red-head added.

"Oh please don't make me choose!"

The angels cuddled up closer and giggled harder.

As Nanael turned around and massaged her hips on his chest, she looked out the two way mirror at the dance off.

"Wow, Liliana sure is giving Sigui a run for her money…" She leaned back into him,hooking her arm around his neck. She gave his cheek a lick. "I'll forgive you for ignoring me just this once… Now," she pulls off her top and moves his hands to her breasts. "...lets help get some of that holy milk out of you. What do you say, girls?"

"Mhm." the blonde moaned, licking her lips.

"Oh yeah…" the red-head followed, unzipping his pants.

Jacob leaned his head back. "Oh this is gonna be a long night…Thank you, God."

**XXXXX**

Back on stage, the one-upping progressed. Both were completely naked and glossy with sweat. Sigui was stunned that Liliana could do every holy pose she had trained years to do.

There was but one last pose even she hadn't perfected, and if Liliana could match it...no, not even the most divine of angels could do it with such ease and delicacy. Only a true Ozborn, a Godess in mortal form, would have the ability to pull it off.

"Are we done yet, Sigui?" Liliana asked. "Have I not up shown you enough during this performance? Be wise and accept defeat."

"Tis not a competition, Liliana." she said.

"Hmpf, well you seem to be quite envious of my ability. Say, isn't that a sin?"

She looked away, turning her nose to the ground (she was hanging upside down). "I am not!"

"Lying is a sin too!"

"Ugh, enough of your petty arguing! One more holy pose and we will finally learn the truth!"

Sigui cartwheeled and grasped the pole behind her.

"We only have one chance to get this right, so do exactly as I do. Not even I have mastered this yet."

Sigui leaped and pulled herself upward using only one arm. Following some spiralling theatrics, her and Liliana came to a halt, and arced their bodies upward as they faced each other. Sigui pulled Nanael's amulet from her cleavage and reached out to Lili's free hand, lacing their fingers together in a tight embrace. She was notably taken off guard.

"Wait, what are you-?"

Sigui inched her face closer. "Holy Pose: Fate." Then sealed the distance with an open tongue kiss.

Liliana's cerebral folds retracted back as her eyes bulged. As moments passed, they seemed locked in space and time. A softness melted on both their expressions. Sigui then nibbled at Lili's lip, drawing a very trace amount of blood.

**XXXXX**

Meanwhile, far beyond the safety of Gynos, a castle etched in sin loomed over the sea of black tears. Deep in it's bowls, harrowing through winding corridors and perched over a plague-infested dungeon, a throne seated the most feared woman in all the land.

Like her hair, the attire which embraced her smooth curves was black as nightmares themselves. Devilish horns spiked upward from her jewel crown, while her ponytail slicked backward and sprawled down her jagged cape. A crimson border as intense as blood-red irises orbiting her pupils streaked about the edges. A singlet blanketed her medieval mammaries, and a metallic scorpion anchored itself between her legs, armoring her most delicate of spots.

The sinful gaze of the Swamp Witch, Werbellia, peered in through her all-seeing crystal ball, the electric eye. The Swamp Witch's chin rested upon gloved fist. She crossed her legs and smirked as her subordinate Liliana and the inquisitor's dance ended.

As blood trickled from Liliana's bottom lip and into the sacred amulet, Werbellia's pointy ears perked up a bit and chuckle slipped through her slim abdomen. Sigui's stared on stunned, trasfixed as the amulet glowed brightly, and all the spirits ascended to a higher plane.

The Swamp Witch let the all-seeing eye slip from her fingertips.

It rolled into a puddle of goo which slipped beneath the crack of her door. The gooey substance then began to spiral upward as it took shape into a bunnygirl. She leant over and picked it up.

"Is everything okay, master?" Melona inquired, shifting sight from the sphere to her superior.

Werbellia stood from her throne, adjusting her cape at the shoulders. "There has been a minor setback regarding our little pirate friend, but no need to worry."

"I can't believe I've been working along side the Ozborn all this time without knowing..."

"It matters not." she said. "I've already absorbed enough of her Ozborn essence to do away with her. It's a shame, though. I would have liked to keep her as a slave…"

**XXXXX**

**A/N:**

The strip club was a real challenge to write for this chapter. 90% of the work in this chapter went to putting detail into that scene, and I still don't think I did it as much justice as I could have. :/

Anywho, about the 4th wall breaking scene during Jacob's debut: I really couldn't help my self with that. Liliana's English voice actress is honestly that fucking terrible it warrented me having Liliana address it in the fic. I swear, every time she laughs it sounds like that bucktooth shark from that Strange Wilderness movie! Don't believe me? Look it up and see for yourself. Nearly identical.

Well that's the close of chapter 1 (or 2 if you count the prologue). Now that this true opener is out of the way, I'm going to focus effort on outlining more of the story. The next fic I'll be updating will likely be Veil of Passion, so stay tuned.

As for when this particular story will be updated, all I can say is we'll see. I don't want to shovel out garbage to my readers. It's either write something that's worth writing, or don't bother until you can do the concept justice.


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